A german yogi taught me to critique with kindness

What’s the secret to giving feedback that actually helps people improve? During a yoga teacher training camp in Amritsar, I learned an unexpected lesson in effective communication.

During a yoga teacher training camp in Amritsar, I became friends with a diverse group of Germans, Chinese, and Americans. As part of the training, we took turns teaching classes and receiving feedback from the other participants and the senior teacher.

One day, after an Indian student finished teaching, the feedback session began. The Indian participants jumped right in, pointing out every flaw and misstep. The atmosphere grew tense as the list of criticisms grew longer.

Suddenly, the German senior teacher cried out, “Stop, you’re not helping!” Everyone fell silent, surprised by her outburst.

She took a deep breath and explained, “Feedback should be like a sandwich. Start with something positive, then give the critical feedback, and end with another positive point.”

She went on to explain that when we lead with criticism, the recipient’s brain tends to shut down, ignoring whatever comes next. But by starting with praise, we signal that the feedback comes from a friend, making the recipient more open to the critical points. Ending on a positive note leaves the overall impression positive, giving the confidence to improve.

This lesson changed the way I give feedback. Now, before offering criticism, I take a moment to find something genuinely positive to say. This balanced approach not only helps the recipient grow but also makes me a more likable and respected person.

The yoga teacher’s lesson about the feedback sandwich has stayed with me long after the training ended. It’s a simple but powerful tool for giving constructive criticism that actually helps people improve, both on and off the yoga mat.